asdf movie plus Death note
by Charm the Dragon slayer
Summary: charm: i was watching the asdf movies one night on youtube and i just had to do this. crack fic. plz no flamers. if i get enough GOOD, NICE reviews, i'll make another chapter.
1. movie 1

a/n: charm: i was watching the asdf movies one night on youtube and i just had to do this. crack fic. plz no flamers. if i get enough GOOD, NICE reviews, i'll make another chapter.  
>i own neither the actual asdf movies, or Death Note. Neither do i own dignity. :(<p>A 5 year old Near squealed with delight.<p>

"Got your nose!" said L. Then, a police officer crashed through the door of the Whammy's House orphanage.

"LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT A NOSE!" *fires gun off repeatedly*

ASDF movies (a.k.a Awesomely Stupid Death note Funny movies)

Light burst into L's room.

"You gotta help me man! My tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeeeeee!"

L backs slowly away.

Light looks down at the tie.

"Please don't hurt me."

Light's evil tie just laughs.

"mwahahahaha!"

Matt walked up to a parking meter.

"Hello, parking meter!"

Then the parking meter answered back.

"Hello!"

Matt just stared in awe at the parking meter.

Mello had decided to play a prank on Near. He walked up to him.

"Hey, hey guy. Come here and smell my flower."

Near walked up to smell the flower pinned to Mello's shirt.

"Mmmmmmmm."

Then, suddenly, a giant green worm bursts from out of Mello's side.

"Cooooooool!" Near said.

A five year old L Lawliet walked up to a button and sign that said 'POINTLESS BUTTON. WARNING: POINTLESS' and pressed the button. Nothing happened.

"Hm."

Light walked up to L.

"hey, man what's up-"

He was quickly punched in the face.

"Ah, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Suddenly, the entire Task Force heard a voice.

"LEVEL UP!"

Misa shouted for help.

"Help me! I'm being robbed!"

"I'll save you!" shouted Matsuda.

"TREE POWERS, ACTIVATE!"

Matsuda quickly turned into a tree.

Kira finally cornered his greatest threat.

"DIE, POTATO!"

He swiftly wrote 'potato' in his Death Note while the potato screamed.

"NOOO!"

L was getting ready for his daily cake slice.

"Cake. Yum."

He picked up the knife and started slicing. The cake started to scream.

"AAAA! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS!"

L screamed.

"NOOO!"

"AHHHHHH! THE PAIN! IT'S UNBEARABLE!"

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

"TELL MY CHILDREN I LOVE THEM!"

Then the cake's cupcakes showed up.

"DADDY, DADDY!"

Then the cake lunged itself off the table.

L and the cupcake screamed.

"NOOO!"

'SPLAT'

a/n: this chapter was based on the first asdf movie.

enjoy and dont forget to Read and Review. And remember, no flames or else you wont get another chapter! 


	2. movie 2

a/n: i got a review that WASNT a flamer and i thank that reviewer.  
>i own nothing.<br>_

Watari walked up to L.

"I baked you a pie!"

The wide-eyed detective got excited.

"Oh boy, what flavor?"

Watari narrowed his eyes.

"PIE FLAVOR!"

Then suddenly, a little pie burst out of the big pie!

asdfmovie 2 _

L, Matsuda, and Misa-Misa were all talking about things they liked. L went first.

"I like singing!"

Then Matsuda's turn.

"I like dancing!"

Misa's turn now.

"I like trains!"

Then, out of nowhere, a train hits Misa.

Near decided to prank Mello like how he pranked Near.

"Hey, it says 'gullible' on the ceiling."

Mello looked up.

"Oh so it does- aw you stole my lungs!"

Kira had run into his foe, the potato, once again.

"DIE POTATO!"

The potato quickly pulled out a gun.

"Not today!"

"Haha!" shouted a crazy L Lawliet. "They said I could never teach a llama to drive!"

The llama quickly cried out in terror.

"NOOOOOOOO, LLAMA, NOOOOOOO!"

The llama drove off the cliff.

Light confronted his dad.

"Father, I think I may be a homosexual!"

"How can you tell?"

Light opened his mouth and barfed a rainbow.

A drunk Sochiro Yagami walked up to a sober L.

"WHAT ARE YOU, A MAN OR A MOUSE?"

L then turned into a donkey.

Light's mom walked out of the kitchen holding a plate of chocolate cookies.

"Hey kids, I've got cookies!"

All of the kids began shouting and L, who was there at the time, was shrieking, "COOKIES, COOKIES, COOKIES!OH MY GOD, THEY'RE COOKIES!"

Misa spoke up.

"I like trains!"

Then Misa got train'd. Again.

NEAR, THE MOONSHEEP

"How did I get up here?"

a/n: I bet Mello knows how Near got up there. Hehe.

Light decided to read a book. Then he started laughing to himself.

"Hahaha. I can't read!"

L: MATSUDA FIGHT!

light: NO, WAIT I'M ALLERGIC TO ADORABLENESS!

L: *throws Matsuda*

light: Awwwwwwwww!

Scene cuts to a tombstone that reads 'R.I.P Light Yagami'.

a/n: that's another way Matsuda could have killed Light.

"What are you doing, Misa?" asked Light.

"I like trains!"

"Yes, yes you do."

mello: Hey, you know whos gay? You-

*then Mello and Near both get train'd*

Light picks up a bagel.

"I can't wait to eat this bagel!"

"Yes you can." says L.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

dont forget to read and review or else Kanye West and Ne-Yo both die! 


	3. movie 3

a/n: so many people want me to continue with this random crap-and i call it crap in a good way-so here it is. i dont own.  
>_<p>"Hey Mello, check out my new dog!"<p>

Mello looked down at Near's feet.

"Oh yeah thats pretty cool-awwwww there's no dog there!"

"!"

"!"

asdfmovie3

Light looked down at the table.

"Ryuzaki, did you eat my sandwich?"

"I am your sandwich."

Then, L climbed into Light's mouth.

a/n: L always sorta looked like a sandwich to me...

"Here, hold this."

L handed Matsuda a bomb and walked away.

Just before the fuse went completely down, L came back.

"Thanks."

Matsuda was about to enjoy a yummy bowl of salad when L smacked it out of his hand and began punching it.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" Matsu-chan screamed. "STOP IT! I DON'T WANT THIS!

Mello and Matt were just talking when suddenly Near walked up in front of them and said,

"SCREW GRAVITY!"

And he floated up to the ceiling.

"Good-bye, world."

"OK Light, I'll see you around. Where ya going-" The world was cut off as the sound of a gunshot could be heard.

"Aw oh no oh no I didn't think it was gonna go down like that at all!"

L gasped.

"There's something on your face!" he said to Light.

He swiftly kicked Light in the face.

"IT WAS PAIN!"

"NO WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" continued Matsuda.

L was still punching the salad.

"I AM PUNCHING YOUR SALAD!"

"STTTTOOOOOPPPP!"  
>_<p>

Sochiro Yagami and his son were watching a cactus.

"Now son," Sochiro started, "don't touch that cactus."

Light got magneticly pulled to the cactus.

Sochiro narrowed his eyes and said,

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!"

Light and Misa just had a baby. Light looked at the baby.

"Misa why is the baby on fire?"

"BUY ME MORE JEWELRY!"

L had run into Urinal Man. He started to unzip his fly.

"Don't even think about it."

L was still punching Matsuda's salad.  
>But Matsuda had began punching back and L had lost a few teeth.<p>

"Hey guys, check out my new camera!" shouted Near.  
>Then he shot Mello in the head.<p>

"Oh wait this isn't a camera!"

Kira had cornered potato again.

"DIE POTATO!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Then Misa walked up.

"I LIKE TRAINS!" she said.

"NO NO WAIT-"

Kira then got train'd.  
>_ <p>


End file.
